He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize