So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
