I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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