He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize