i was born a porn star she said
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
