No stitches, just platelets and will power
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
