My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
