Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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