ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize