You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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