I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize