dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
