I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize