I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
