she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
