I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Randomize
