An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
