i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
