Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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