New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
