would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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