When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
