Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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