Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
