I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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