I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize