singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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