She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
