i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
