Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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