told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
