So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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