U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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