it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
