her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize