dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
