I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
