Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You took a bar mat shot.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize