I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
