i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
jump out the window naked night went bad
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
