Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
