I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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