there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
