dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
