Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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