As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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