i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
