Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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