Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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