He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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