if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
even my farts smell like vagina
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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