everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
