NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
