Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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