you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
