Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
