life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
