you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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