i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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