i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
