i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
