I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
