CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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