used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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