i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
