Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
