oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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