Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
