i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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