never play flip cup with pint glasses
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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