there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
