from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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